In Uncategorized on November 7, 2008 at 5:07 am


5scorpioScorpio (October 23 – November 21)
This is the favored month of the intense, Scorpio lover. Your successful search for new romantic partners will lead to several pleasant evenings, followed by some very unpleasant test results from Student Health Services.

5sagitSagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Your love of life and concern for others guides you to make changes in your routine of yelling slanderous comments at pedestrians from the window of your car.

5capriCapricorn (December 22 – January 19)
This is a bad month to go out into the world. You should stay inside and not go to any classes- it’s OK, the stars said so.

5aquarAquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Your sometimes shy way of dealing with others will take a turn for the worst when you don’t say anything to the Public Safety officer putting the boot on your car.

5piscesPisces (February 19 – March 20)
Your  trouble with concentrating will really lead to problems this week when you fall asleep while studying all night for your biology test, but it turns out alright when you wake up with the brilliant idea to buy those sunglasses with the mirrors in them and sit in front of the only kid who got an A on the last test.

5ariesAries (March 23 – April 29)
Your need to take control of the situation will end disastrously this month when you take over the conductor’s controls of the SEPTA train.

5taurusTaurus (April – May 20)
Your grounded nature allows you to relax in the face of stress. Unfortunately, you were too busy playing video games and “chillaxin’” that you never got off your ass to write those three mid-term papers.

5geminiGemini (May 21 – June 20)
Your capricious personality leads you to drop all of your classes and switch your major, much to the dismay of Bruce Keller and your senior advisor.

5cancerCancer (June 22 – July 22)
Uncontrollable guilt is in store for the Cancerian this month after you are compelled to go to the all-you-can-eat crab leg buffet.

5leoLeo (July 23 – August 22)
This is a good week to go out and make powerful new friends to expand your circle of influence.  Thankfully George Bush will have more time to schedule that meeting with him you’ve been asking for.

5virgoVirgo (August 23 – September 22)
Today is an excellent day for the beautiful sign of Virgo. Bask in your glory and do not be afraid to try something new- unless it involves doing anything that deviates from your normal routine.

5libraLibra (September 23 – October 22)
Your flirtatious acts will catch the eye of a wandering Leo this month and will mark the end of a long-established romantic relationship. It will also result in a bar room fight and no ride home.


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