arcadiabritt

In Uncategorized on November 20, 2008 at 11:13 pm

page5horoscopebiweekly2

5scorpio1Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
The stars will test your resolve this week when you will be offered a variety of different paths for the road you seek.  Fortunately for you, they all lead to a midnight hoagie run to Wawa.

5sagit1Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
The independent style that the Sagittarius tends to embrace will take a turn for the worse this week when you decide to turn the triple you’ve been living in into a single, much to the despair of your two roommates.

5capri1Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
The stars show that the elements of Earth, Wind, Fire, and Water are all in your favor this week. This explains why you do nothing but watch a “Captain Planet” marathon for two days straight.

5aquar1Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
This week will be the dawning of a new Age of Aquarius.

5pisces2Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Although your sign is already that of the fish, your actions this week will give a whole new meaning to the phrases “slippery when wet,” and “drinking like a fish,” coincidentally in the same night.

5aries1Aries (March 23 – April 29)
You will find value in some things this week that many others have regarded as washed up and ill-conceived at this point. You will also buy the new Guns n’ Roses album and see the newest James Bond film.

5taurus1Taurus (April – May 20)
The Taurus’ stubborn nature strikes again when you fail to heed the warnings of a sign reading “Caution: Electric Fence.”

5gemini1Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Just when things start to look up for you, someone throws a stick in your spokes this week. Literally. Thankfully for the rest of us, someone caught it on tape and put it up on Youtube.

5cancer1Cancer (June 22 – July 22)
The stars foresee the brakes of your car unexpectedly failing in the near future. Lucky color for the week is green. Unlucky is red..

5leo1Leo (July 23 – August 22)
The mighty Leo shows its gentler side this week when you opt to buy the lavender-scented fabric softener.

5virgo1Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
It is usually wise to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Except in this case when you are entered into a tandem bicycle race as a team.

5libra1Libra (September 23 – October 22)
It’s true that Libras are quick to make new friends, except your roommates have started to wonder why you have to keep bringing your new friends back to your place every weekend.

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