A very single Valentine’s Day

In Uncategorized on February 16, 2009 at 2:11 am

page5taffyMe: “Hello, my name is Elishia, and I’m single.”
Therapy Group: “Hi Elishia!”

This is the feeling I get when I announce to people that I am single. It feels like a “single’s only” club that I am always invited to, and I often get the V.I.P. treatment, or in my case “S.A.M.” (Single And Manless) treatment, where people who are in relationships act like they feel bad for you, and they seem to question my single status and sometimes wonder why. Being a single 21 year old female at a given time has its perks, but there is one particular day where it can either suck or its not even a problem. But one thing is for sure, Valentine’s Day reminds me that I am a single lady.

I’m the kind of girl that has had guys who were friends, or guys who claimed to be my boyfriend, or a relationship with a guy that hadn’t exactly been dubbed anything, he was just there. So when the big February 14th rolls around and I’m single, it doesn’t phase me much like the guys who have come IN and OUT of my life. But, this particular day does make me think, is being single on Valentine’s Day really that bad? Many singles out there up front might just say “No!” But then there may be some who say “Valentine’s Day sucks!” Whatever the case, this particular day is exactly what it is, a day. So, I’ve learned not to be so upset about being single every Valentine’s Day. This day shouldn’t define that I am lonely just because on a day that’s all about love,  I’m alone No, this Valentine’s Day I’m saying, “So what if I’m single, I’m happy this way.”

I am a Communications major so I almost always notice different ploys that go on, especially in the media. The media pushes Valentine’s Day to be this day for couples only. The commercials with cupid hitting some guy in his back and all of a sudden he’s in love with somebody, that’s corny to me. Or when you walk into Hallmark or any store that sells cards, most of the cards are geared toward people who have a mate, never just a card that says “I just wanted to say I love you.” It’s always a card with a cheesy couple on the front holding hands. Don’t get me wrong, it’s kind of sweet, but let’s be a little versatile and not only speak to couples, but to people who are dating someone but not actually in a relationship, for the singles out there, for everybody!

It’s pretty easy for me to not be depressed on Valentine’s Day because back at home, my mom, dad, my grandmother, or friends might give me something nice like candy and flowers! So, if I end up just sitting at home watching movies and eating like a pig on the 14th, so what! But seriously, I’m not that worried about this Valentine’s Day as much I thought I would be, I’m cool. I’m prepared to do whatever comes up. So if all of my girls want to go out to dinner, or gossip the night way, let’s do it! Or, if it’s just me chilling on the couch watching one of my favorite movies, like The Godfather or Scarface, then so be it! Yes, neither of these movies are about love, per se’, but I LOVE watching them!

You see, being single does have its perks, no disrespect to those that do have a mate, but being single, especially on Valentine’s Day, I can do whatever I want. If I want to treat myself to a day of shopping that doesn’t include buying something for someone else, that’s great! Or, if I want to buy myself flowers just because, I can do that too. I’m not saying that non-singles are trapped, but in a sense there seems to be certain rules to follow when you are in a relationship with someone. It’s expected that you go out to dinner, buy flowers, or have a romantic evening at home with your special someone. You can’t just wing it on Valentine’s Day, and if you do, then you might have some explaining to do with your significant other. This Valentine’s Day, my single self IS wingin’ it! Whatever happens, happens.

All of my single ladies, don’t be afraid to put your hand up! Be proud of this single status. Hey, I am. I know everyone is different and everyone handles certain situations differently, but let’s look at it this way, being single isn’t the end of the world, and neither is just being single, period. If you are feeling icky about being single on Valentine’s Day, try your best to look at the brighter side of this. Make this Valentine’s Day a day to learn more about yourself and maybe you’ll realize that it’s not that bad! I’ve learned that every year brings something new and sometimes you have to be patient and wait for something to happen, and I’m ok with that. I’m ok with being a strong, independent, single young woman 365 days of the year, and I’m ok with being single on one of those days which is Valentine’s Day. Let’s leave it at this, something Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City said on one of the episodes: “The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself, and if you find someone to love the you, you love, well that’s just fabulous!”


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